Funny biker traditions: we laugh together and ride carefully

Bikers like to joke about themselves, the weather and the garage. Anything we could not confirm is marked as folklore. Read it with a smile, and do not forget the helmet.

1. Happiness is measured by the flies on your teeth. An old joke: “How can you tell a motorcyclist is happy? By the flies on their teeth, which means they smiled the whole way.” We are joking about the smile, not about riding without a helmet. A helmet with a visor also keeps the insects off.

2. N+1: the right number of motorcycles is always one more. The joke rule: the right number of bikes is N+1, where N is how many you already have. It came from bicycle culture (the Velominati joke rules), and motorcyclists picked it up. A joker’s garage is always “almost full”.

3. A bell against road gremlins. The story says a little bell on the frame catches the gremlins that break the bike. You are supposed to receive it as a gift, and when you sell the motorcycle you take it off and keep it. A bell is the best gift for a new rider.

4. The motorcycle is not dirty, it is in an “adventure suit”. To the jokers a dirty bike is “in an adventure costume”, and the scratches “have stories”. Rain works as a free wash, but you still have to clean and check the chain and the brakes.

5. Helmet hair and “protein” from the highway. “Hair after a helmet is little tufts on the crown.” “Protein: now with extra flies. Thanks, highway.” Anyone who has taken a helmet off at the end of the day will understand.

6. Winter is for polishing. “Winter is nature’s way of saying: time to polish.” In winter the motorcycle “sleeps” and waits to be looked after, and in spring bikers joke about “rusty skills” and ride to the season opening.

7. “Summer: the season for posers.” When passers-by say “too cold for a motorcycle”, the jokers answer: “Summer is the season for posers.” This is not a widely accepted tradition. Next to it is the Scandinavian saying “There is no bad weather, only the wrong clothes”, and for Estonia that fits perfectly.

8. “Do you know Suzuki?”: an Estonian joke. In the Estonian joke a motorcyclist overtakes a car and shouts to the driver: “Kas sa Suzukit tunned?” (“Do you know Suzuki?”), and the driver decides the rider is mad. Do not overtake just for the joke.

9. “She got on and gave it gas”: a test of loyalty to the road. The biker joke says: if a passenger got on the motorcycle and “gave” it gas, the ride went well. If she “gave” nothing, she is simply holding on too tight and is scared. The main rule is simple: the passenger sits straight, holds on to the rider and does not get in the way in corners. “Dropped it, got married” is a joke about a careful rider who does not drop the motorcycle.

10. “A foot like you own it.” In biker tales, on the parking spot the foot stands so confidently it is as if the motorcycle is already bought and paid for. The joke is that a beginner still looks around for flat asphalt. Advice: in a parking spot always look where you put your foot, because gravel and puddles are not joking.

11. “A knee in the corner.” People say a knee sticking out in a corner shows who is a “real racer” here. On the road you do not need it, and on a track there are special days and schools for that. Advice: on an ordinary road take the corner calmly, without showing off.

12. “The two-cough rule.” A joke tale: if the motorcycle coughed twice at the lights, it is asking for attention. Advice: strange engine sounds are better checked at a workshop, not written off as “character”.

13. “The season is not over until the snow has settled.” Estonian jokers say the season closes only when the first snowflake appears on the helmet. Advice: in autumn the asphalt is slippery from leaves and cold, so it is better to close the season before the snow.

To finish. We joke about flies on teeth, the bell and the eternal “one more motorcycle”. Real biker wisdom is simple: look after yourself, fasten the helmet and wave to riders coming the other way. And it is better to explain the N+1 rule to the people at home in advance.